Depressive

If something went wrong, it's my fault.

The depressive style turns blame and anger inward. Guilt comes easily, other people's needs come first, and loss or rejection is felt deeply. It is a character style and is not the same as clinical depression. McWilliams also describes a manic counterpart, in which a person escapes painful feelings into constant activity; one statement in this questionnaire reflects that side.

These are patterns often described for this style in general. They are not statements about you.

Characteristic feelings

Sadness, guilt and shame.

Inner conflict

Needing others versus fearing to burden them.

Core fear

Being a burden, being bad, being left.

Ways of coping

Taking the blame on oneself (introjection). Seeing others as better than oneself (idealization). Turning anger against oneself.

Sources of self-esteem

Being good, useful and caring.

How others often experience it

Others often feel warmth and a wish to comfort. Sometimes they also feel helpless, when reassurance does not seem to land.

Strengths

Empathy, honesty with oneself, loyalty, and real care for other people.

Where it gets in the way

Self-blame. Anger is hard to voice. One's own needs come last. Good things are hard to accept.

Work that often feels comfortable

Often drawn to work built on care and understanding: psychotherapy, medicine, teaching, volunteering, art.

What can happen under prolonged stress

Under prolonged stress, self-criticism can deepen into a lasting low mood. If that happens, it is worth talking to a doctor or a mental health professional.

In relationships

Often comfortable with a warm, steady partner who is generous with reassurance and does not criticize harshly.

Fictional characters with similar traits

Jon Snow, Eeyore.